Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
