I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
