After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize