how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
