So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
