I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize