hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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