Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
two words: eviction party
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
