oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
