Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
