I wannas sexs uuuuu
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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