i just wanna soil my oats bro
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you will always have a special place in my vag
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize