so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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