I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think my fart just growled at me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
