Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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