can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
