just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
