Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
