Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
