So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
