Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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