this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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