My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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