He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
