He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
