i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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