That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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