good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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