Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
