Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
