I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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