Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
