sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is my gift to your gina
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
