sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
