i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
