we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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