i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
