bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
