Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
