sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
