You work out of a Hotel?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
