Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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