a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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