420 ftw
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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