i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think my vagina is haunted
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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