god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
