She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
