he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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