Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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