Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
