I want to make a zoo with you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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