SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
