Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
