Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
