just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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