I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
