I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
