i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
