I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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