There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
